Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
