I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
