so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
