I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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