I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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