Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
