So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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