I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
