nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
