You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
