it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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