erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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