with your own penis?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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