I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
