were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
