I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
