I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
