is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
