READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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