I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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