So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
