32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize