He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
