Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't think brook has ever known best
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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