i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
