Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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