There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
