Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
