He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
