You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
