You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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