READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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