So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he fucked my hip out of place.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
