Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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