Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you would pick up someone in the library
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
