Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How does one acquire holy water?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
