It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
