I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
