and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
