i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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