So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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