Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
