i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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