he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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