so let's talk penis.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize