Non-Jews are for practice
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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