Im at strip club and am horny
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
