i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
