We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
