I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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