So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
