i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
send nudes
from the living room?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
