Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
