We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
