Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
meet me or not, i'm out of control
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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