margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
This house was built for laser tag.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
