I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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