I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
